One week ago, while you were drunk and we were walking to your place, late, in the cold street, stepping on the snow. A week ago, while you were looking at me, stoned, I'm not sure anymore if it was because of the alcohol effects or because you, transparent, were showing me your feelings of admiration and love towards me.
That day, that night, you asked me if everything was well in relation to us.
" I don't understand" I said, confused. "It's all good. Don't you think everything is alright?"
You said yes, and something else. Then we met your mother the next day.
Now I'm here, asking to myself the same question you asked me. I feel I am a step behind. Maybe you are way more sensitive than I am. There is no Maybe. I'm sure you are.
"Is there something wrong in between us?" It is not the same question you asked me. You see, this is how we look upon things: you say "well", I say "wrong". I'm always stucking myself into negative stuff.
But you... Oh... You.
You are The Purest thing. And I miss you so fucking much I can barely hold my tears.
I miss your smiley face and your voice. Your warm hugs and sweet kisses.
Can you see in my eyes the same feeling I see in yours? Because I didn't even know myself I was this In Love With You.
Everything you say is right. You will think "Nah" and if my Ego was there, it will probably think and say "Nah" too.
But you... you just go through it. You've just gone through everything on/ about me.
So naturally. So easily.
I'm scared. I'm terrified that you would just disappear. That all of this will, all of a sudden, Stop. End.
Maybe you deserve better. Maybe I didn't deserve so much unconditional kindness, help and love. Maybe I didn't work hard enough. Maybe is too late. Can I make it up for you?
Why is my mind tormenting me?
I wish tonight was that one Saturday night, when I texted you, called you, asked you where you are. Then I would dare to show how much I like you, invite you home and hold your arm.
I wish tonight you were staying over one more time, so I could hug you and kiss you and tell you how amazing you are, how beautiful you are.
God, I wish there were more words to describe this feeling. It's never been so deep and real before.
I admire you. I adore you. I love you.
You are the brightest Light.
Please come back, I feel lonely in the silent dark.
